In an emotional interview, the singer opens up to PEOPLE about grieving the loss of his two đ€đ©đȘđđ„ren â and finding new purpose after their deaths
Bobby Brown has been having a recurring dream and itâs a beautiful one.
âI always see them at beaches or in fields,â Brown tells PEOPLE in this weekâs issue of his late đ€đ©đȘđđ„ren, daughter Bobbi Kristina and son Bobby, Jr., who died at ages 22 and 27 in 2015 and 2020, respectively, both as a result of drug abuse.
He continues, âTheyâre running away, but theyâre laughing. And theyâre always together. I didnât have many dreams about Bobbi Kris before Bobby Jr. died. But then all of a sudden â floods of dreams.â
The 53-year-old R&B music star is opening up to PEOPLE ahead of the release of his new A&E docu-series Biography: Bobby Brown, premiering May 30. The two-part series delves into his tumultuous life and times, including his battle with addiction, his ill-fated marriage to superstar Whitney Houston, as well as his deepest sadness: the loss of his two đ€đ©đȘđđ„ren.
Bobby Brown. Nolwen CifuentesBobby Brown on the Drug Deaths of His Children: âItâs My Duty to Remind People It Can Kill Youâ
On Jan. 31, 2015, Bobbi Kristina was found unresponsive in a bathtub with a mix of drugs in her system, eerily similar to the manner in which her mother Whitney Houston was found inside her Beverly Hills hotel room in 2011. Bobbi Kristina died that July after spending months in a coma.
For more on PEOPLEâs exclusive interview with Bobby Brown, listen below to our daily podcast PEOPLE Every Day.
Bobby, Jr., Brownâs son with ex Kim Ward, suffered an overdose of alcohol, cocaine and fentanyl and was found dead inside his Los Angeles apartment on Nov. 18, 2020.
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âNo family, no father should have to go through this,â says Brown, who with the help of wife Alicia Etheredge, has made it his new mission to speak out about the dangers of drug abuse, particularly fentanyl.
Bobbi Kristina and Bobby, Jr. âwere both musicians and loved to sing,â says Brown. Born just four months apart, âTheir relationship was tight. Theyâd get into their little tiffs but they were thick as thieves.â
Jim Smeal/Ron Galella Collection via Getty ImagesBobby Brown âDevastatedâ After the Death of His Son Bobby Jr.: âNo Words to Explain the Painâ
The pain of losing them is something heâs still grappling with today. âIâve cried, but not how I want to. I really want to just scream to the top of my lungs and cry, but itâs just not there.â
Brown, who is sober and in therapy, says his remaining đ€đ©đȘđđ„ren, including Landon, LaPrincia and his three youngest with Etheredge, Cassius, Bodhi and Hendrix, help him get through his darkest days.
Bobby Brown Jr. and Bobby Brown. Maury Phillips/Getty Images
And then there are his dreams. Constantly envisioning Bobbi Kristina and Bobby, Jr. together and happy when he sleeps, âThatâs enough for a father to feel like God has them.â