Justine Musk, a writer and the ex-wife of tech mogul Elon Musk – the richest person in the world – offered a rare glimpse into the personal philosophy that shaped one of the world’s most ambitious entrepreneurs.
As the mother of Elon’s five 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren and someone who shared years of her life with him, Justine had an intimate and revealing perspective on the man behind Tesla, SpaceX and Neuralink. Speaking at a TEDx talk in 2014, she shared a key lesson she observed during their marriage – a lesson not just about ambition but about boundaries and focus.
“I was married, I was married–” she emphasized the past tense – “to a man who became extremely successful. And as I watched him rise, I noticed two things. He worked very hard, much harder than your average bear. And he said no a lot,” she explained.
Justine detailed how Elon’s ability to say no was instrumental to his success. “He said no to people who wanted his time, attention and energy. He said no in a way that protected his resources so that he could channel them toward his own goals. And I realized that behind every no is a deeper ‘yes’ to whatever it is that you do want,” she said. This realization was transformative for Justine, reshaping her understanding of boundaries, priorities and self-worth. “Your deep yes is your right to dream,” she added.
She explains that the ability to say no is something we learn very early in life. As she notes, her 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren assert their power by saying no. However, somewhere between the ages of eight and 13, she lost her deep, instinctive no – it was drowned out by external voices telling her she was “too much.” Justine points out that when people criticize you for being “too much” of anything, it can help you identify your greatest strengths.
As a writer and a mother, she reflected on how saying no wasn’t just about asserting power but about embracing clarity and intention. “No is like a bright line that, when used properly, marks off where you end and others begin,” she added.
Her insights resonate not only because they reflect Elon Musk’s meteoric rise but also because they speak to a broader truth about success. It’s not just about saying yes to opportunities but having the courage – and the wisdom – to say no to distractions.
This philosophy isn’t unique to Musk. Steve Jobs famously shared a similar sentiment in 1997: “Focus is about saying no and you have to say no. The result of that focus is going to be some really great products where the total is much greater than the sum of the parts.”
Justine Musk’s reflections remind us that in a world overflowing with demands and opportunities, the power of no isn’t just about refusal – it’s about commitment to the things that matter most. For her, observing this principle in action gave her a new lens on her own life and a deeper appreciation for the art of setting boundaries.
